JOKES

anyone know any good ones?

"A man walked into a bar.....ouch!"


LOLOL.

So a guy walks into a bar and says, "Hey, bartender...gimme a beer." The bartender slides the brewski down the table. The man chugs it, wipes the foam from his lip, and orders another. He does this for quite some time until he finally has 11 beers down. He pays the bartender, and stumbles out of the bar. He gets in his car and drives home, but gets into an accident, and is hurt.

Moral of the not so funny joke with no punchline: DONT DRINK AND DRIVE.

we should try coming up with some AM! jokes. Any ideas?

So a guy walks into a restaurant and orders a cup of coffee. Then out of fucking nowhere comes Tom Gabel and he smashes the mans head into a table.

OMG TABLE.




Ok, that sucked.

haha I chuckled at it.

i was thinking that incident when i made the post. i was also thinking warrens beard

So a guy walks into a beard...

my uncle told me this one
its pretty f'd up but....


what does dale earnhardt and pink floyd have in common?

their last big hit was the wall.

You know you shouldn't laugh, but at the same time it's funny...

yeah
its pretty screwed up

To be honest, I laughed.

But then I felt bad.

same here
haha

it seems now all i hear are either racists jokes or jokes that are just plain wrong like that one

So Cinderella is getting ready to go to the ball. Her fairy godmother shows up, makes her all pretty and such as the story goes but instead of turning the pumpkin into the coach she says "I am going to turn this pumpkin into a diaphragm, by the stroke of midnight though it will turn back into a pumpkin so you MUST be back by midnight." Cinderlla agrees and heads off to the ball. Midight comes and goes, one am, two am, finally around 3 am Cinderella comes home. The fairy godmother says "Where have you been?!" And Cinderlla states "Oh I met the most wonderful guy... Peter, Peter, something or other..."

This is my favorite joke.

What's big, antisocial and in the Clash?
Joe Hummer

What's sticky, based on stereotypes and in Against me!?
Tom Label.

I could go on for days ^_^

What did the blind, dumb, deaf, paraplegic kid get for Christmas?
























Aids.

How do you stop a baby crawling in circles?












Nail its other hand to the floor.

How do you get a thousand babies in a bathtub?























Use a blender





How do you get a thousand babies OUT of a bathtub?




























use tortilla chips.

I prefer fajitas.

What's the difference between a truck load of marbles and a truck load of babies?














You can't unload a truck of marbles with a pitchfork.

I think we've successfully destroyed this thread sye.

I love being us.



Whats worse than catching a baby thrown from a ten floor building?
























catching it on the first bounce.

Ohohohohohohhoooooooh... Zing!

What do you call someone with no arms or legs, in a swimming pool?
















Bob.

hahahhahahahhjknacjknkjsvdnkjnsvjkdsnbv

whats purple, covered in pus and squeals?


...a peeled baby covered in salt.

you can thank Ross for that one.

brb hell.

LOL I didn't dare post it, THINK OF THE CHILDREN. A couple on a similar vein...

What do you call a man with both legs amputated at the knee?







Neil.

What do you call a man with no shins?







Tony.

what's red and crawls up your leg?
















a homesick abortion

hahahahaha I LOVE YOU, PEPE